Pull Yourself Together

I am having a dilemma at the moment. I want to work to save money and give what my children the best that they could ever have. I am not contented of what we have financially, this is not what I am expecting to have for the rest of our lives. But then again, I am thinking of my kids and the advantages of me being a stay at home Mom. But honestly sometimes, I feel like I am losing my confidence and I feel stupid because of my incapacity to work.

I even got rejected so many times from the job that I applied for and that lessen my confidence even more. I feel so dumb, useless, and incapable.

I have lots of things to do but my destiny just won't let me. I even asked God if this is my KARMA for not valueing my work before or am I just plain unfortunate here in New Zealand. I have no luck here, not a millimeter... Right now, I just want to go home in the Philippines... there I know that my knowledge and experiences would not be put to waste. I am certain I can help more people with special children there who truly need me and would appreciate me for what I can do and accept for who I am.